so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
