Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My breasts were aching with rage.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
