I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
even my farts smell like vagina
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
