i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
