it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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