He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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