Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
