I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
