the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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