Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just had sex on a roof
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
