Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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