let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
