its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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