his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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