Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
