dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
