You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
