Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
