is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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