I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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