I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
