Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm at about main and main street
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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