just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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