I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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