I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
