You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
