I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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