I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
