Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i will never coherently bang her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
