I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
