i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
