benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
