I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
