Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
