he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
