I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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