Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
