So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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