I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
