do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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