Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
