I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
