i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
