He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
