yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
