I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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