She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well I just put wine in my tea
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
