you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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