Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Do vagina's smell?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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