Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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